January 27, 2011

So, it turns out that taking a break from school gives me more time to think about the reason that I started going to school in the first place...

I started going to school to keep me distracted from the fact that we don't have a baby. Now that I have more free time on my hands, I can see how well it has worked. There have been countless times over the last several years that homework and testing and making plans for things we only have time for in the summer have saved me from myself and have kept me completely distracted...

So many people that I know are announcing pregnancies, having morning sickness, decorating nurseries, attending baby showers and so many other things that I long to experience and while I am so thrilled for them, my heart aches - and I feel it, and it hurts.

There's really nothing to do about it, I'm just sick of keeping it to myself.

7 comments:

Erica Huff said...

I'm glad you don't keep it to yourself! I hope you can enjoy the break - you have been working so hard in school! I don't know where you are at in the whole situation but I hope you are feeling like there are still some options. Love and miss you!

B and J said...

I feel your pain. It sucks, a lot. Maybe we should get together and go do something together that will keep our minds off of it.

D.I.M. Incorporated said...

I wish there was something I could do or say to make it all better. But, I can't. Just know that I love you. And someday you will one amazing mommy! :)

mellabie said...

Our hearts ache for you too. We love you guys and it was great to see ya'll last month!

claire said...

Love you sis. Feeling your heartache and wishing I was there to hug it away. Soon! Call me if you need to chat. Love ya, me

Grandma Vic said...

My heart just broke once again for my baby daughter. I pray for you and hope that someday your dreams will happen. Here's a giant hug from the mom who rejoiced in your birth and the life you lead. I love you

CHERISE AND MARTY said...

Hang in there Claire, there are so many other options, not quite the same but your love can reach to others thru adoption. We love you and think of you often, are prayers are with you both and know that you can always call us if we can help in any way.

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